More content planned for the next couple of weeks, and any reader contributions would be amazing! Have a great Bank Holiday and watch this space!

Related posts:

1. I’m crapper than a crap thing!
2. Upcoming Site Changes
3. The Soapbox: Messy Guild banks

World firsts and what makes those who achieve them different?

World firsts are pretty much the ultimate accolade of the PvE part of WoW. They’re not only representative of being the first to achieve a boss kill but they also show the dedication and determination of the players who have achieved it.

As you would expect, not everybody can expect to get a world first. Primarily as only one first place can be claimed but also most/all of the players who achieve them have been subjected to the rather intensive application process.

One of the most striking parts of this process is when you begin reading the application form. Many, if not all, of the world-class guilds require their raiders to have ‘good control over their personal lives’. This level of dedication rules most players out there and then. Some may read this as being ‘you will have nothing in your life other than the game’ and that is simply not the case (it’s a very common misconception in fact), it just means that come patch release day you will have time booked off work (or something similar) so that you are available for a prolonged period to start clearing the new content.

Having control over your personal life is by no means a guarantee that you’re in, it’s merely preamble! As you fill in the form you will be asked very probing questions about your spec, gear choices and glyph choices as well as other things associated with the way that you play. Some guilds will even expect you as a raider to be an active member of the theorycrafting community (Ensidia being one example of such a guild).

Provided you have passed all of these initial hurdles and have made a good impression you are likely to be offered a trial with the guild. In the words of Nefarian; ‘Let the games begin’! As you raid with your new guild you will be watched by the class leader(s) for rotation as well as by everyone in case you make some subtle yet colossal mistake. As this is the world-class level, you will be held EXTREMELY accountable for mistakes and actions, particularly since the introduction of limited attempts.

If you do a good job and pass your trial then congratulations! You are now a world-class raider! As you would expect that is not necessarily an end to the proving yourself. As you’re now bearing the banner of the guild your behaviour etc. will reflect upon them as well as yourself as well as continually fighting with your fellow raiders for spots.

Just being in a world class guild doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to get a world first (shockingly it takes work) and leads to the interesting bit of world firsts; the race.

The best examples of world firsts are from the Wrath of the Lich King expansion as only recent kills are recorded on the various websites that track guild progression.

The obvious suggestion for a world first would be the Lich King 25 man heroic. As this fight was subject to the limited attempts it is not very fair to use it as so many factors could ensure an attempt was lost before it was started properly. However for the sake of those who may not know or keep tabs on these things; the first 3 Lich King heroic kills were claimed by Paragon (EU-Lightning’s Blade), For the Horde (EU-Nazjatar) and Ensidia (EU-Tarren Mill).

Ulduar was the final raid of the Lich King expansion that was not prey to limited attempts and so probably serves as the best example. Supposedly it took Ensidia over 300 attempts to get Firefighter on 25 man (which earned them the world first on it) which is impressive/demented depending on your view point. Throughout the Lich King expansion there hasn’t been one guild that has consistently been getting world firsts it has been a series of guilds. Some have come and gone, others have remained at the forefront and some have appeared from absolutely nowhere and stolen kills at the last moment! The table below very briefly sums up who got what world first (for hard modes) in Ulduar just to illustrate how varied the winners were.

As you can see it was very varied in the end and as far as I am concerned this is a good thing as it keeps things interesting. It would be pretty boring to just see one guild getting all of the world firsts, let’s face it. ‘No king rules forever’ being a particularly applicable quote.

Next time I will be writing about what some of these world-class guilds are prepared to do to get a world first. That’s right everyone! I am mounting my very high horse and will be speaking about cheating! Gareth, get my ruler! There are some hides to be tanned!

Related posts:

1. Soapbox: Emblems of Triumph
2. The Soapbox: More New Guilds
3. Money makes the world go round

So like I used to be this big asshole alliance guy:

Used to roll with a bunch of assholes also:

We used to do some asshole world PvP raid stuff back in the day:

I had reached the pinnacle of assholeness…but there was still one final, unspeakable act of assyness to commit….

On horde we’re mature, we’re patient and caring – when hunters ask for a good PVP spec in trade, we never reply with “RESTO!11″. When we even smell an outbreak of [Anal] jokes in Trade chat, we’re on it. Misuse of trade chat, achievements or gearscore? We’re on it, armed with polite whispers. We’re so nice that it took me one hour to convince a Warlock and Moonkin to dance around this AFK Draenai – a BLATENT act of defiance against the Alliance of this server. But they did it. You know why?

WE’RE PISSED

You little alliance punks think you can just walk up to Orgrimmar and start killing people! How many times have we told you damn kids to stay off our damn lawn. HOW MANY TIMES? WELL IT’S ONE TIME TOO MANY!

The horde have had enough. No more giving good spec advice in trade chat. We don’t even care about [Anal] jokes anymore. I think we’re so damn pissed we’re going to start asking for at least 4k gearscore + achievement for VOA FREAKING 10 MAN.

It’s on now. Scores of you damn kids fell in Ironforge and Stormwind. Your shitty dwarf king lies dead. And it’s not over, we’re going to settle this with an oldskool outdoor battle.

WE CHALLENGE YOU TO:

A 40 vs 40 Outdoor PVP battle!

Date: Sunday 16th May 2010
Time: 5PM Server time sharp
Place: See the map

I shall restate the rules CLEARLY:

1.) Alliance are to take the flight path to Astraanar in Ashenvale and then run through the Talondeep Path to end up on the CORRECT side of the battle. If you fly to Stonetalon Peak not only will you look RETARDED as you awkwardly attempt to run to the correct side of the fight, but we will also leave because we will assume you are trying to flank us.

2.) Before the battle we will log Alliance and do a /who Stonetalon. If there are more than 40 (we shall account for retard hangerons) we will leave. So if there are like 80 level 80 alliance in Stonetalon, we’re gone. Feel free to do the same for us.

So as the coolest WoW boss ever once said…

Let the games begin!

Related posts:

1. For the HORDE! /moo
2. More from Bonzo, our unlikely hero of the Horde
3. Public Service Announcement: Your Account is NOT Suspended

Many of us struggle to make enough to keep our items in gems and our kit repaired but to some unique individuals such as Magz everything they touch turns to gold, read on for some hints and tips to turn yourselves into banker on the rise!

Tell us a little bit about yourself the man behind Magz and your character?

I started playing WoW on March 1^st 2005 and haven’t looked back. Magpawacar was the first character I created and while I played a warlock and mage for most of TBC, WOTLK felt like the right time to rekindle a love for the old shaman. Throughout WoW I’ve always been in small guilds, mainly because I prefer the company of friends as opposed to acquaintances. It was the hero of the horde, Bonzo himself, who invited me to Embers of Honour, and along with Malborn, Diet, and Sazon, we rapidly formed a friendship within the game which remains unbroken. Throw a Boynk and a few others into that mix and you have my reasons for never wanting to join a larger more raid-focussed guild. We all left the game for a short period to play Hellgate London but the lure of WoW was too great and we all rejoined, forming Twenty Percent Sober, our current incarnation. In simple terms, having been through so much together as gamers and more importantly, close close friends, if they left the game, then so would I.

I have two accounts, with 4 level 80’s which I play regularly. The remaining chars all perform a function geared towards making gold, be they low level crafters, gatherers or bank alts. It’s a bit excessive but it’s invaluable if you have your fingers in as many pies as I do.

In real life, I live in Northern Ireland though I’m from the Republic and am married with 2 kids.

Hey Magz, give us a loan huh! So come on, tell me, did you set out to intentionally to hit the gold cap or did it just happen?

Round about August last year I was made redundant and having a bit of spare time I did a little reading into how to make gold. I just fancied making enough to be able to afford the finer things in game, be they mounts or gear. Then I learned about the gold cap and wondered what it would be like to have that amount of gold and not have to worry about ever having to scrimp and save in game. I came back from a holiday to Portugal in September and started in earnest to make a charge for the GC. All in all it took about 3 months although it can be done a lot sooner with more focussed effort. I tend to take the Irish approach to gold making for “ if you throw enough shit at a wall, some of it will stick”, so for the first month I spread myself far too thinly. Though you do learn quickly what works and what doesn’t and then it’s all systems go. I hit goldcap on the 29^th November 2009, 2 days after my son was born.

How much money roughly do you make in a week?

It varies and really depends on how much effort I’ve put in in a given week or as mentioned above, if it’s a patch week. On average I make about 40k a week in sales although some weeks I spend about 20-30k in materials etc. So there are some weeks, as a result of aggressive purchasing I’ll make a loss but then the following weeks are usually a gold fiesta. There is a thrill logging into the game, opening the mailbox and hearing the kerchink kerchink sounds through the headset. I have a screenshot I took a few weeks back, prior to updating my UI (which borked the figures in Auditor), that shows I have made 1.2 million but spent about 1 mill. Whilst being extremely proud of that fact, It did make me wonder whether I could have been a little more efficient. IF I can work out how to hide a few details on a screen shot, the pic will be included with this post. I’ll explain though in a later question, though that’s it’s not just me who has benefited from this endeavour, and I’m not talking about gifts for me muckers.

Ed: He worked it out and here it is!

Which professions do you have on your characters and why did you choose them? Many people choose professions to enhance there character but your reasons could possibly be different can you elaborate?

I have all professions on the go apart from LW, Skinning and Engineering. I have two JC and two Miners and one of each of the rest. I was meaning to get another alchemist for Transmutation procs but in the end I couldn’t be arsed. Anyone can make gold without a profession by buying low and selling normal-high but using your professions is the easiest way in my opinion. The only profession I levelled specifically for gold making was inscription, the rest were all initially for character enhancement. Gold can be accrued with all professions, some more than others, it just requires a little research. I could go into great details as to the best areas of each profession but in all honesty it would take a week to write it all down. Seriously! There’s no shortage of ways through using professions. I would say that you should be prepared to think outside the box. The “saronite shuffle” is a perfect example of this. Through using mining and jewel crafting you can level an enchanting profession really easily and subsequently make a lot of gold via scrolls or just selling the mats. A word of caution though. This method is not as profitable as it used to be as a result of a number of patch changes surrounding disenchanting.

Do you have any regular methods for making gold and what addons, if any, do you use?

I use a whole rake of addons, but the predominant ones are, Auctioneer, Postal, Quick Auctions, ATSW, Lil Sparky’s Workshop and Tiny Tip Wealth. LSW tells me the cost for producing a particular item, very handy for determining profit margins and Tiny Tip Wealth is for fun. This tells me the most wealth a character has had on their person at any one time. I don’t imagine it’s 100% accurate as it doesn’t read a seller’s guild bank but it gives me a general impression of who has had what. It helps identify potential competitors as well as suppliers.

The most common method I use is the simple methods of manufacturing. I source mats from AH and then start production. This covers virtually all mats required in the professions mentioned above. If I find something cheap on the AH that I use regularly I’ll buy everything I can find. It’s not uncommon for me to buy 250 stacks of saronite or adder’s tongue at a time. This is where having a multitude of alts comes in very handy, especially if they’re decked out with Frostweave bags. To give another example of what it takes to sustain a particular market, I currently have enough materials to mass produce 5000 glyphs. And that’s a bloody slow process. ON occasions I’ll flip items, i.e. buy low sell at a reasonable price (more on this later) but I find that too time consuming. I used to farm a lot of my mats before realising that this was a sure-fire way to burnout, especially if you have a target like the Gold Cap. You might need to farm some things from time to time but if you’re are mass producing goods for sale then buy your materials. Especially if you have a little gold at the beginning to bankroll yourself.

Do people always ask you for gold, are you expecting after this interview to have many more requests!?

Thankfully no and I may well get some requests from people reading this but  unless I know them personally they’ll get short shrift from me. If they’re persistent and courteous I’ll give them a tip on how to make gold. I’ll even ask them if they have a profession that’s gathering orientated and if they would be interested in farming mats for me. It’s about creating a situation that’s beneficial for both parties. If this lazy-assed Paddy can make pots o’ gold then anyone can. All it takes is half a brain and a little commitment.

How much time a day do you spend on making gold and how does it effect the rest of your gameplay?

Twenty Percent Sober is a social guild and we only raid ICC 2 nights a week. So outside of these raids and the customary daily heroics I devote a fair amount of time to making gold. The Saronite shuffle and milling herbs takes quite a while, particularly when yer dealing with thousands of items. Although a lot of these processes can be macroed it still requires constant button pressing. Now this may seem tedious and it can be but it’s also a productive way of passing the time instead of sitting in trade chat spamming retarded bullshit about Anal(I’m a 18yr old Vegetable) and Your Mom jokes.

It have affected certain areas of my gameplay. I used to run a lot of BG’s during TBC and this is now non-existent. I reckon that if I’d spent as much time levelling chars as I do on making gold I’d have another 3 -4 level 80’s. Then again you can only raid with one char at a time!

The economy Horde side is not the greatest, do you have Alliance characters that you make gold on as well?

It’s a misnomer that the Horde side economy is slow. Considering we’re a fairly small population, the AH is fairly active. I know of 5-6 other characters Horde side who have hit or about to hit the gold cap, and that’s not possible in a slow economy. There’s a fine line in this scenario. On one hand The number of items available to buyers Horde side is small. There are small amounts of 264 epics  etc on our AH as opposed to the Ally side. Funnily enough, there might be more supply on the Ally AH but the prices are not much cheaper, and certainly not worth the effort and cost, in my view, of working the neutral AH. Mind you I’m not into selling pets so I may be wrong where that business is concerned.

I have a lvl 5 Dwarf who sits in Stormwind but he’s there really for curiosity value. The thoughts of levelling an Ally char to 80 fills me with a innate sense of dread.

Do you bulk buy items to keep the auction house prices high?

I stated earlier that I do bulk buy items on the AH but it’s not to inflate prices, it’s more to keep my costs down. I happily admit to not being unscrupulous enough to list a stack of titanium ore for 2000g or something similar. I pride myself on being fair to sellers of mats and the buyers of my produce. They’ve been good to me and I cannot see the value in garnering a reputation for being a greedy twat. However I will not turn an opportunity to make fair profit on a particular item. Most will be aware of an acute Lichbloom shortage on the Horde AH. Well about 6 weeks ago I bought 250+ stacks of the herb on the AH for 12g a pop. In the two weeks prior to that, there was another shortage so I decided not to allow this to happen to me again, hence the bulk purchase. What it did mean, was that I was able to keep my Flask prices low and in plentiful supply something which benefits everyone. Okay other flask sellers might not be happy, but I’m sure they would have done the same  a) had they thought of it and b) had they the money to bankroll it. I would also like to add that as a heavy buyer on the AH as well as a seller, I’m making money for many others in the game.

What one item do you think has made you the most gold?

There’s no one item  but if ye are talking about something which is a surprising seller for very little cost, then the Rituals of the New Moon is a clear winner. Depending on the price of Eternal Shadow, it can cost between 10-30g to make and I sell 8-10 a week for 170g each. Mind you it’s an item I have to promote via trade chat, easily done whilst crafting something else. I’m surprised that even after 7 months of making that item I’m still the only seller of it. It’s worth the abuse I get from the invertebrates who think it’s a crap item. They obviously have no clue on the personal value of vanity items to a lot of people.

Come on then, give us some of your best hints and tips for making gold on WoW!

1. Think about what items you need for your own characters. Then make them for everyone else. Examples are Belt Buckles, Enchantment threads, Scrolls, flasks, glyphs, Gems and many many more.
2. Treat any suppliers you have fairly and with respect.
3. Don’t be afraid to lower your profit margins to make sales.
4. Learn to use the addons I’ve mentioned above. They’re invaluable.
5. Read the latest patch notes.
6. Diversify. If a market is becoming flooded – look at new angles. Be prepared to sit it out and wait from the storm to pass. If prices are dropping rapidly, don’t panic and even consider purchasing items to replenish stock.
7. Experts in WoW gold making say the best trading cycle is generally after maintenance day. Personally all days are good is you trust your products and know your server’s economy. I purchase more a the weekends but I also make more sales then.

All that cash mmmmm what do you spend it on?

The short answer would be whatever takes my fancy. I have a hog and traveller’s mammoth on Magpawacar, and have spent quite a bit on gearing up him as well as various alts. I don’t raid in 25mans so the best way for me to acquire quality 264 gear is via the AH. If a necklace appears on the AH for 15k then the decision doesn’t take long. It also means that I can gem and enchant my main characters to with the best available rather than have to compromise.

I’ve spent large amounts on my longtime closest muckers in game, mainly on valuable gear. It’s not real money and if it helps others then why not?

Though like all “business” enterprises, I mainly spend my gold reinvesting. If it means levelling a new profession or just simply buying up materials in advance of the expansion, then that’s what I’ll do. And am in fact doing ;p. One thing I considering doing is trying for a server first in some profession once Cataclysm arrives. I haven’t decided yet which one.

What are your long term aims in World of Warcraft?

To keep having fun and enjoying the craic with my friends. People moaning about the state of the game etc etc really should take a step back and realise just what a wonderful experience Blizzard has created for us.

I’ll keep on making money as it’s fun to do and AH pvp sure as hell beats the various Arenas anyday for me. I’d love to be able to say I’m aiming for a million gold, but that’s not a target that’s on the immediate horizon. Then again, with WoW, one should never say never!

Readers Questions:

Molpadia: I wants a pony, can I has one?

Mol, are you looking for the shitting in a field type of pony or £25?

Bonzo: g1ef gl0d pl0x kkthx?

The last time I did that mucker you only cleaned the windows out the front of the house, so for now I’ll have to decline. (The temptation to use a risqué analogy was overpowering but had to be resisted.)

Gothmogs: Which profession do you find the most profitable?

A lot of professions have boom and bust periods. A consistently profitable trade is jewelcrafting, which has been helped greatly by the release of TOC and ICC 5 mans as well as the raid instances. An avalanche of epics  = an avalanche of gem sales, both blue and purple. This probably will taper off a little though the closer we get to Cataclysm. I buy uncut epics off the AH and via the trade channel and cut them myself on my two jewelcrafters. I don’t have all epic patterns though, only the ones I know sell well. And I won’t purchase and uncut gem if I cannot make at least 20-30g profit on the final sale. An important factor to note when entering the AH is the fees for certain items and it’s pricey to list gems.

Sazon: Do you need to adapt and change to keep making money?

Constantly. One of the main causes of change in playing the AH is the release of a new patch. No surprises there. But what many people don’t realise is that if you read the patch notes thoroughly and are quick enough off the mark, you can make a quick killing in the first few days, especially if certain mats costs lower dramatically or become more plentiful on the AH to purchase. You could also say you need to adapt to other sellers on the AH but there are ways and means to deal with that, sometimes via certain addons, sometimes through a certain amount of AH camping (something I am loathe to do and do so very rarely) and generally through just using your wits. The one thing I would advocate to anyone looking to make a few bob on the AH is to research gold making strategies and to adapt them to suit your needs. Also you do not need to spend $40 on a guide either.

If you would like some more advice on how to make moar monez amongst other titbits visit Magpawacars blog which can be found at www.gombeen.wordpress.com

Related posts:

1. Money makes the world go round
2. Our Survey Says: Goldmine
3. Our Survey Says: Mounts for money?

Related posts:

1. Our Survey Says: Holiday Blues
2. Our Survey Says: Fashion Sense
3. Our Survey Says: 3.3 Release

The Bonzo Chronicles part 5 : Written by Bonzo himself

WARNING: Some rude words

I’ve got no energy today. Not. A. Sausage.

This raiding malarkey is beating ten kinds of crap out of me. I mean, there’s only so many times some fuck-off great monster with five heads can kill you before it starts becoming a bit of a downer.

I’m relaxing in Stranglethorn.

It’s a great place for a holiday, but you wouldn’t want to level there.

The Zandalar are all, like, ‘Hey mon, you go kill dat Bat Lady, yeah? Den you come see me again.’

No ‘please’, no ‘thank you’, just a bunch of voodoo bullshit.

Bloody trolls. It’s hard to believe some of my mates are tusk-tuggers, but I guess there’s an exception to every rule.

So I’m sitting on the beach.

I have my [Small Picnic Basket] out, with an umbrella beside me to protect my delicate hide from the depleted Ohnoez layer or some such.

I have my [Iron Fishing Rod] stuck in the sand with a [Only Slightly Better Than Dirt] lure attached. I should get a bite sometime before the next expansion.

I’ve made use of the ever-nifty Equipment Manager to change out of plate mail and into something more appropriate.

If anyone ever sold swimsuits I’d be the first in line, but until then these folks at Grom’Gol had better learn to appreciate a thong wearing cow in their midst. Maybe I didn’t need to stroll into the square like that and ask the vendor if he sold ice-cream, but fuck ‘em. It’s only natural. And it’s not like I’m taking the boys out for juggling practice or anything.

A few beers later…

I’m dozing off in the sun, a pair of [Tinted Exothermic Goggles] perched on my snout, when these two Mulgore girls arrive at the beach.

I recognise one of them from Thunder Bluff – they hang around the auction house. They’re obviously also on vacation.

My first thought is ‘OMG! Equipment Manager!’, but then they whip their kit off too, and are left standing in their own tribal thongs and not much else. Tats oot!

They don’t seem at all fussed about modesty, or the fact that I’m only a few yards down the beach. In fact, they seem to be enjoying the fact.

For my part, I’m udderly delighted.

I shift uncomfortably, trying to get a better view, when suddenly a shadow looms over me and I hear an ominous loud huffing sound. A sense of overwhelming dread starts to rise in me. Unfortunately it’s not the only thing rising, and my visitor notices. Lil’ Bonz ain’t playing by the rules, but it’s way too late for Equipment Manager.

This is going to hurt.

Molpadia: Hello Bonzo.

/Feign death

Molpadia: BONZO!!

Bonzo: Ohai Mol! Didn’t see you there!

Molpadia: Bollix you didn’t. I was watching you perv over those two cows.

Bonzo: Cows? Where?

Molpadia: Oh please. So – is that your fishing rod or are you just happy to see me?

Bonzo: Er… what are you doing in STV?

Molpadia: Same as you, really – just chilling out, taking a break from the grind.

Then it dawns on me: Mol isn’t green anymore.

Bonzo: No more Orc? What happened?

Molpadia: I didn’t like the colour scheme. Besides, all my friends said they missed the ‘old’ me.

Bonzo: Well I prefer you this way. FWIW.

Molpadia: Thanks Bonz, that’s sweet.

Mol gets her kit off, and Mr. Lumpy starts twitching again. But she’s a nice girl, and she’s gone for the full-body swimsuit approach. She must have made that herself. Nerf tailors.

I’m slightly disappointed, but not much – there’s something not quite right about seeing too much of your friends.

Molpadia: I’m going for a quick dip. Join me?

Bonzo: Um… sure.

I need to cool off. Too much excitement lately isn’t good for my old heart. A warrior’s life is dangerous enough without the possibility of a stroke.

So we head towards the water. I try really hard to hold my gut in, but it’s like trying to hide a kodo behind Egbert. Failsauce.

Even so, I’m hoping the laydeez will express even the smallest amount of jealousy at seeing me walking along with Mol. They don’t. And hot-DAMN if they aren’t holding hooves! No remote possibility of cow-pie action for old Bonz then. Meh, at least I have some reading material stored for later. And besides, Mol’s being really friendly, so best I start paying her some attention. Maybe after one quick (and altogether surreptitious) glance over my shoulder to check that the girls are still ok. This is a dangerous place for the inexperienced.

The water’s bloody freezing. You’d think a little cold would be alright after the whole Northrend business, but the twig and berries still head north.

Fortunately we’re waist-deep by now, so Mol doesn’t notice my discomfort.

Molpadia: Come on Bonz, let’s go get us some pearls.

Bonzo: Er… I haz about a million [Blue Pearls] Mol, not really needing too many more.

Molpadia: Oh come on, it’ll be fun.

Bonzo: W… er… I…

Molpadia: You scared?

Bonzo: What? No!

But of course I am. I hate the water. Cows were never meant to swim. It’s not right. And there’s the fact that my shit-roasted Nagrand Cherries are all finished.

Mol dives under the water and disappears. She’s heading out towards the Vile Reef. I wish people would realise it’s called that for a reason.

I sigh and take a deep breath, then dive in after her.

I guess I should be grateful that we can still speak underwater. It’s one of those things I’ve never quite understood, but it’s useful so I don’t complain.

Molpadia: Check this out B.

Bonzo: Hm?

Molpadia: An [Iridescent Pearl]. These used to go for a fortune on the AH.

But I’m not listening. I’m watching the monstrous beastie that’s swimming towards us. It’s not a murloc. This place is only supposed to have murlocs in it. WTF?

Bonzo: Jayzuz! RUUUUUUN!!!

Molpadia: What?

Mol turns. She sees the leviathan approaching, and she turns pale.

Molpadia: That’s not possible…

I don’t care what’s possible. It must be more of this pre-expansion crap. Wotevah.

I’m leaving behind a smokescreen as I race to the surface. Brave sir Bonzo ran away, away…

But then I’m overwhelmed by a feeling of guilt, so I turn to see if Mol’s ok.

This massive kraken of a beast is at home in the water, and it’s closing in on her.

I can’t allow her to get hurt. I’m better than this. I am a cow of integrity, of honour, and of very little brain.

So I turn and hit the Equipment Manager. Hell, I swim just as well in plate as I do in a thong, so why not. I bellow and roar, and a thousand little fishies phear meh.

I charge at the great huge unnamed monster of the deep, and I slap him something vicious across the face with my [Iron Fishing Rod].

The last thing I see before considering how much my repair bill will be is Mol’s little hooves at the surface, kicking with all her might as she reaches the beach.

I have shown strength in the face of adversity, courage when a friend was in danger, and stupidity of the highest order. All is as it should be.

Related posts:

1. Tales from the Dream: Bonzo Returns
2. Tales from the Dream: Bonzo meets FAILPUG
3. Tales from the Dream: MOAR Bonzo!

Who are you then?

Taymaishu – a crazy, drunk Australian who raids from 0330 server time. I have a reputation on the server and certainly within the guild as something of a “Druid Dundee” and the GM of Erudite.

What is the story behind your guild name?

It was a random name chosen actually, which has suited us well. Us four original officers from our predecessor guild, Sin, took a year off and randomly came back online on just about the same day a couple of months ago, completely unplanned! We decided to reform and we chose Erudite, mainly because we think we’re smart, and the guild name is a great test for potential recruits! If you don’t know what it means, then you certainly don’t deserve the tag!

PvP or PvE?

PvE – although we have a good PvP life as well. Some of us are arena junkies after raid time finishes, mainly in 2v2s. We do have a PvP alt guild starting up, <Tauren Beef Co.>

Horde or Alliance?

Alliance. For sure.

10 man or 25 man?

10 man. Some of us have some pretty good experience with world top-50 guilds, and we really got burnt out in them. We established Erudite on the proviso of highly skilled players who get along well with eachother. Our outlook is for a very close core team (13 members to the guild) who raid together every single time. That means we know each other well, our play-styles well, and we share all the ups and downs together. Our recruitment is personality and skill-based; drama can be a killer in a very close knit team as ours.

Social or Hardcore?

A mix, i guess. We have a wonderfully social community, but come raid time we’re focused and don’t take any crap.

Loots or Laughs?

Laughs, for sure. Mainly aimed at Doosha, my Deputy GM and sacrificial spacegoat.

Arena or Battlegrounds?

Arena!

Eastern Kingdom or Kalimdor?

Kalimdor!! Home of the Night Elf and therefore home of everyone. Let’s face it, Nelfs rock.

Describe your guild in 3 words

Tits, Tits, Spacegoats.

Best wipe ever?

Vesica (rogue), one of our previous Officers was doing the traps in ICC and decided to take her flask then and there in stealth. Not only did she pull a trash group coming out of stealth, but running away and popping vanish she then hit the other trap and failed us all.

Funniest moment ever?

Playing porno music over vent when one of our Palas went AFK during an ICC run. We had Mogon, our MT (who is notorious for his deep, sexy, wet voice…mmm Mogon I love you – nohomo) saying some very hot, steamy things over vent. It ended when i nearly vomited all over my keyboard from laughing so hard, and out OT’s partner thought she was on a porn site and nearly got accused of cheating on him. I think everyone muted the GM on Vent that night!

Why should people join you?

We look for a personality match for the guild. Open, friendly people who aren’t drama queens and who enjoy raiding. For the people who fit that type of personality, i can assure you you’ll end up saying you’ve never been in a better guild. We’ve been very lucky with the quality of our recruits, and the guild gets along very, very well. So why join? If you’re looking for skill, a fantastic raid group, and most of all funny and open members with a great guild atmosphere, you can’t go past Erudite.

Disclaimer: We won’t make you erudite, you have to be erudite prior to joining. You just can’t teach that shit.

Visit www.erudite-guild.com for more information and to apply!

Related posts:

1. Erudite
2. GotF: Knights of the Heart
3. GotF: Trolling Paladin Forums

I am also looking for some new talent to write some of our regular features and contribute to the site as a whole, if you interested send me a sample of your writing to tethane@emeralddreamers.co.uk

Related posts:

1. Upcoming Site Changes
2. The auditors *cough* spawn of satan are almost gone
3. Crap Name of the Week #4

Firstly lets define spam

Spam is the abuse of electronic messaging systems to send unsolicited bulk messages indiscriminately.

Or in the case of WoW the use of a public chat channel to annoy people by repeating messages or linking totally nonsensical item followed by a comment and/or class ability to create something that’s supposed to be amusing, but fails worse than Bernard Manning at the MOBO’s.

Different types of spam

People looking for an item/group/guild/PUG member

This isn’t as offensive as some other types I will cover but nevertheless people should understand that repeating………….

/2 LF one healer ICC25
/2 LF one healer ICC25
/2 LF one healer ICC25
/2 LF one healer ICC25
/2 LF one healer ICC25
/2 LF one healer ICC25
/2 LF one healer ICC25
/2 LF one healer ICC25

Is not going to encourage any decent player into joining, rather they will just put you on ignore and carry on with their business. Rather limit yourself to using /LFR or maybe just slow down on the regularity you hit your macro button.

Guild recruitment

While we all understand that gaining new members is a priority for any Guild, advertising your bank slots and tabard every 2 minutes is just not going to produce that great an outcome. At best you may get an enquiry or two, at worst you will just create a bad reputation for your Guild from the outset.

Dirge

Apparently, it started with someone at an unknown RP realm who intended to sell this weapon with a more commercialistic approach:

“Making [Dirge] with or without your materials. get yours today! It’s [Dirge]tastic!”.

Shortly after people started to use this concept by making words of their own, usually swear words and has now progressed into people simply spamming the item link.

It’s stupid, annoying and utterly pointless, don’t do it.

Anal

Sometimes I wonder if people actually know what they are spamming about and if they did would they continue doing it. Apart from the fact it is once again repetitive and boring I have also been told that “it feels like a shit going backwards” who would want to promote that!

Unlike [Dirge], there are many different spells and items that can be used with it, varying wildly from “Anal [Dirge]” to “Anal Herbalism” even “Anal Professional Grand Master” always first for my report button you anal spammers perhaps need to try a bit, the question is will you enjoy it as much as you seem to enjoy spamming it.

The good news 

This addon will clear your trade chat and I love its name! Asshat will deliver you from all the asshats in WoW or a more extreme method can be found here.

The moral here is think before you type or just turn off /2 altogether and avoid the temptation.



Related posts:

1. The Soapbox: How Old Are You Again?
2. The Soapbox: More New Guilds
3. The Soapbox: Messy Guild banks

Emerald Dreamers and Revive and Rejuvenate would like to invite you to participate in the Great Blog Noblegarden Egg Hunt!

Somewhere hidden on all the blogs listed here you will find an egg. The eggs on the sites could be in an image, a link to an in-game egg or some reference to an egg, it’s not going to be an easy game but the prize is worth the effort! The eggs will not be found in posts over a week old as expecting you to hunt through months of archives is a bit mean. Check here for more details on how to hunt eggs!

On and after Easter Sunday, April 4,go hunting! The first two people to email wowegghunt@gmail.com a complete list of the exact locations of the eggs, are the winners!  If no-one has located all the eggs by midnight GMT, Wednesday April 7th, the winners will be the two people who found the most eggs.  The winners will be announced on Wednesday April 7th.

There are not one, but TWO fabulous prizes for the first two people to email the list. Mason Cole, an artist who draws amazing fan art for Warcraft and other comic characters, has offered to draw a character portrait for the winner, plus a montage of classes for either Horde or Alliance for the person who comes in second. You can check out some of Mason’s work at his DeviantArt gallery!

Happy hunting!

Related posts:

1. Competition: Funniest mistells and typos!
2. Blog Azeroth Shared Topic: Positive Pugs!
3. Bad aunts: Multiple personalities?