Bonzo is reminiscing for us this week, fed up of the FAILPUGs and things hitting HIM in the face (that’s the wrong way round) Bonzo casts his mind back to happier times……….. or were they! Lets see what our unlikely hero of the Horde got up to when he was just a little calf.
FAILPUG! Heals? I’m a BLOOD DK!
Ahh the daily Heroic. Fifteen minutes of relaxed pew pew to get my 2 shiny Frost Badges. But alas, all is not well with today’s run. Today we get… the jerk tank.
Now the jerk tank is a peculiar species, it is a jerk and it is a tank. Hence the name: jerk tank. But you can’t just kick him cause the group needs tank. But what happens when a fight occurs between tank and healer? This is what happened.
Patch notes for dummies
Once again patch day comes around and people seem to find it so bloody difficult to read the patch notes whilst they wait for the download. Instead we get the trade spam of “where is this?” “what happened to that?” I’m positive I’m not the only one who at times such as these vacates the cities and hides in a corner of Azeroth rocking manically and wishing for it all to be over.
FAILPUG: It’s ONLY Ulduar!
Setting the scene: The wonderful weekly frost badge run of goodness comes round and you think “Its only Ulduar what could possibly go wrong?” you answer a trade advert and get snapped up to a 10 man run. Eager to get your frosties and being a prompt and polite character off you trot to the instance without a moment to waste.
The confusion: But then da da darrrrrr, the raid leader sets it to 25 man in order to discuss with Brann turning off hardmode. You’re confused, the’re confused, everybody’s confused and then you remember….. it’s a weekly, and the raid leader has clearly never been to Ulduar before, after all how hard can it be!
The Horror: Smelling a FAILPUG swiftly you leave the group, needless to say they wiped on Flame Leviathan, the horror, the horror.
Have you been in a FAILPUG? Send us your screenshots to contact@emeralddreamers.co.uk and we shall inform the world!
The Soapbox: Messy Guild banks
Nothing makes me convulse with anger more than an untidy Guild bank, 50 tries on a new boss fine, an epic fail in Wintergrasp fine, a FAILPUG fine, all of these I can handle with supreme tolerance, but put me face to face with a messy Guild bank and my neurons go sparko, my psycho side comes out and you may fine me in Elwynn incinerating cows for the fun of it, screaming WHYYYYYYY.
FAILPUG! I’m Trying to Translate Them
Once again throwing myself with abandon into a total FAILPUG!, I bring you a tale of roguetards, strange Greeks and amazingly calm raid leading.
Picture the scene, you’ve logged in with the intention of catching up on some achievements, because you’re racing a mage to 7k points. You have a spreadsheet, and a detailed plan for the day, and then a guildie suggests you come to a pugged ToC25. “It’ll be fun”. Yeah, right.
The Soapbox: How Old Are You Again?
How many times have you seen someone you know to be an adult, acting in a way you’d expect from a 5 year old? I’m willing to bet it’s at least a few. I had an all too brief holiday last week and returned, relaxed and generally optimistic, to a hail of whispers from friends and fellow guild leaders ranting about the various dramas since I’d been away. A couple of weeks ago most of this drama would have seemed commonplace, but with the clarity of time away I came to realise that the way people act in this game often makes literally no sense at all.
